Changing our Thoughts on Nothing in Life is Free
Our Boon had surgery last week to remove a couple of lumps, fingers crossed that they are benign. Meanwhile she’s got a lot of big arse staples on her abdomen; they resemble the ones down on her spine years ago. It’s been a challenge to watch her not be herself and to know that her activities will be limited in a big way for the next couple of weeks until she’s healed up. I can’t explain to her why she’s not getting to go outside and wheel around like she’s competing for the Indy 500 or why she’s not on a big sniff-ari to look for her deer friends.
It’s been a challenge as I try to figure out if she’s in pain and dole out a variety of meds to keep down the inflammation, possible infection, or stomach upset. I look for whatever signs she can give as communication to help me figure out what she wants or needs. I think I’m pretty good at reading her signs, but I have to say this has pushed me to my limit.
The situation got me thinking about the phrase “Nothing in life is free” and how many pet parents insist on commanding their pets to do something in order to earn a treat. I wonder how this thinking came about because if you reflect, our captive pets rely on us for pretty much everything and we control most aspects of their lives, what they can eat, where they sleep, when they can go outside, what they can play with, the list goes on. As I sit here with our patient, I feel like I’m in complete control of her life and well-being.
Do we need to require them to do something to earn a treat? Can we give them a treat just to say “I care about you” or “Surprise, look what just came out of nowhere for you?” I know I’d sure feel positive if someone said or did either of those for me, just saying.
It’s often the same household where there are statements like “well we spoil our dogs” and let them sit on the furniture or something else. When did making a decision that you’d like to share the space where you hang with the animal you’ve chosen to be in your care become “spoiling”? The definition of spoiling is to be lenient or indulgent. Making a choice or a decision that may improve the welfare of a captive animal or bring them happiness or bring happiness to the human who cares for them doesn’t seem indulgent to me. If you find yourself feeling a little embarrassed like what you are doing may be judged as “spoiling” your captive pet in your care, let’s reframe this and shake off that judgement.
I tend to shy away from even using the word “treat” as it implies something extra. I typically work with dogs where food is a primary reinforcer rather than a ball or tug toy. In other words, the “treat” I’m giving is meant to reinforce the desired behavior or to recognize that a dog performed a behavior on cue so it’s more like payment for a job well done, not something extra or out of the ordinary.
We make a choice, a decision to bring an animal into our household and into our care. It’s amazing how much of their life and welfare is dependent on us. It’s time to let go of thinking nothing in life is free or thoughts or judgments of spoiling or dominance. I (heart) the slogan “My dog makes me a better person” and often reflect on how each of the *13* animals that have made our house their home have changed my life and helped me learn something more about me for which I’m grateful.
Cheers, Tracy
